SpoilerEllen: Hi Lauren, you look fantastic
L. Thank you, you too
E: No you look great
L: Thank you
E: Nah you just said it because I said it
L: No, no, it’s true. Hey, you know what I noticed about your Spanish?
E: What’s that?
L: your voice gets really high when you speak it (audience laughs)
L: hola, ole
E: Ah, really?
L: Yeah,
E: Well, yeah I become a different character
L: Yeah, yeah yeah, like a different person. That’s what I noticed.
E. yeah, I was… yeah it’s a . of course it's observant for you to notice that. How is the… now it was the WB, now it’s the CW..
L: right, right
E: and, uh, what’s the difference?
L: Well, CW stands for “cash winnings” (audience laughs) okay, so that’s my thing that I say. (audience laughs ) That’s my thing that I say and it goes over pretty much like that usually. And, uhm, I keep telling people they’re gonna win money if they watch the CW. Do you think that’s okay? Is there like a legal problem or anything?
E: uh.. they may… it doesn’t mean you’re giving it to them, cause they could win in a lottery, they could win different ways.
L: Yeah, but you know in the Wb I was in trouble cause I didn’t like the frog, you know, cause he wore a tuxedo. And, uhm, it did upset me..
E: Why it should?
L: Cause he’s wearing a tuxedo
E: How dare it?
L: It’s like, you know, he should have shorts on, or something more casual, cause he’s a frog. (laughs and audience laughs) But, so one day I complained about the frog in the tuxedo, I was like: “Urgh, what is .”.- it was like my first week of work and this is like I like to endear myself to people at parties, I was like “And what is up with the frog in the tuxedo?” and the guy was like: “ That was my idea actually”
E: Wow
L: But we’re still on the air, you know, so… whatever (shrugs)
E: He wasn’t that mad?
L: No
E: Hey, so you, uhm, you’re a single mom on the show and your daughter is now thirty? How old is she on the show?
L: Yeah, it’s a miracle plastic surgery. I’m sixty-two, thank you, thank you. And, uhm, no she is in her senior year of College, so how old you are then? I sort of lost track of these characters. You know, I just show up. You know I’m like: “I work at an Inn, get me clipboard, whatever(?it’s year seven)?! “
E: That’s not true
L: No, it’s not true
E: And, but you, you were raised by a single dad..
L: For good, you know, eight , ten years it was just me and my dad, yeah.
E: And how.. was he a good dad.. a good mom-dad?
L: He was a great mom-dad. The things, like they came up, that were involved like sewing or you know, costumes or opposites day, or whatever like that stuff, was always like some mad panick. And for Halloween I remember one year.. it was kind of.. it was a very high concept costume, you know, where he , he was like “Here, put my big brown cable-net sweater on, and conch up like this” And then it was my genius idea to add my brown riding hat and then you had to do like a parade and I sort of rolled across the auditorium, cause I was a…
E: (tumble weed )
L: a coconut, duh (laughter) But then he did redeem himself because the next year I was upsidedown- man. Try this this year! It’s genius! I won the next year. Because you wear pants on your arms, you know and shoes on your (hands” audience says) yeah, you get it! And then you have a shirt… you have to be kind of a little kid cause I couldn’t get a shirt over now. But you have to wear like a shirt and then you wear mittens on your feet and then you tie.. you sew a tie upside down and you have a head right over on your shins and you're upsidedown- man. And when you walk it looks like you walk upside down.
E: Where is your head?
L: Your head is here (points to her knees)
E: No, no, not that head. What happened..
L: Oh, you mean your real head? It just gets lost in the pants. Like it does
E: All right, that’s what I will be this year. I’m always looking for something to be. I will be upsidedown- man
L: yeah, try it! You really… you just say….
E: And the head just dangles between your legs?
L. Yeah. I don’t know. It worked. I won, I mean. And after coconut, you know they weren’t expecting anything from me. So.. it went very well.
E: So that’s maybe why. You went from coconut to that
L: Much improved. Maybe I got “most improved”, oh no. Well, I don’t remember. I'm gonna ask my dad. Anyway , he did a good job. (silence) Oh, but then.. wait do you have more?
E: No
L: Oh, but we gotta go.
E: yeah
L: yeah.. no, you don’t have time for this story
E: what?
L. What?
E: Is it a good one? (Lauren laughs)
L: Well, it’s short.. then there was the time when my blue uniform wasn’t dry and so he put it in the oven to dry and I went to school with oven brand-marks on my back.
E: That was good
L: thanks
E: I like that story
L:and now?
E: Now we have to go to a commercial and , uh, one of those may be cut, uhm so, we’ll be right back and we’ll find you a boyfriend
E: Uhm, okay, the last time you were here it was like Valentines Day and you didn’t have a date
L: Right
E: I wanna find out what is going on with that. You seem like you… Matthew Perry was here yesterday and uh, he said you were trying so set him up
L: Right
E: So,
L: it’s just a lot of lonely actors at the Warner brothers
E: Why? And I .. didn’t you date him? Isn’t he adorable?
L: yeah, yes.
E: I love Matthew Perry
L: I love him too
E: He is smart, he is funny, he is good looking, he is very rich
L: Yes, yes, god
E: He’s got a lot going on, so what about him?
L: I don’t know. I don't know why. I don’t know. It’s just.. we are such good friends, you know
E: uhuh
L: it's like uh, I don’t know.. we are just such good friends.
E: But you are.. you’re very pretty, you’re smart, you’re funny, you have all kinds of, you know, great qualities
L: I don’t know. It feels.. it feels pathetic though, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it feel sad?
E: No, a lot of people are single and that's why there are all these dating services. This is cause people need to..
L: right. But, you know, if you’re.. if I went on one of like those things, which I don’t think I would do anyway, but if you’re an actor, you’re like “Hey, I’m not sending you a picture. Just check me out tonight at eight” Oh, weird. It’s just creepy. It’s weird. Cause I do have a lot of fans in prison and they would be..I do.. and I’m thankful to get their very nice letters, but , you know what I mean, it’s like.. (shrugs)
E: Well, yes. It’s obviously a bit..you think.. you can’t.. they’re not available right now on a date
L: Right, right
E: What about Kenny Chesney, he’s single
L: Right, I don’t know..I think… I ..I..my only thing is like I can’t be.. I think I’m .. I’m very tall. Right? I’m very tall
E. He’s not that short
L:He’s not?
E: no
L: oh.. do you think it’s bad that I think that he’s short? Do you think that would be offensive to him?
E: Now I can see why you’re not dating
L: I’m just out making height assumptions about people.
E: You’re probably picky
L: Thank you, doctor deGeneres.
E: You’re welcome. But, uhm, what if Matthew would ask you out again? I think you would be a good couple.
L: Okay
E: Really?
L: Yeah
E: All right
L: No, we go out all of the time
E: Then just kiss him one day
L: All right, I’ll try it
E: yeah?
L: Okay
E: Would you kiss him?
L: Yeah, I mean, I did. But.. more? Okay. No, I mean it’s great, don’t get me wrong.. this is the thing: I’m trying to set him up with people, but then, somehow, it’s ending up sounding like “Ah, I kissed him” But… you know. I kissed him and I ki… mmmh and it’s good, you know. Mmmh.. I don’t.. I can’t see my way out of this right now
E: I’m enjoying watching you try
L: Can you as the host help me? Can you help me?
E: No
L: oh, I (grabs coffe cup)… love… Matthew Perry.. I ..
E: That’s all I wanted to hear from you. You love Matthew Perry
L: I do, it’s true
E: All right
L: I do! I’m on his new show for like a minute
E: I know. You and Sting are on the show
L Yeah
E: Yeah, that’s exciting. Well, all right, we got everything we needed from you
L: Okay
E: Thank you
L: Are you sure?
E: No
L: okay.. I play myself on studio60
E: okay, now we have it. Seasons Premiere of Gilmore Girls…..
das war soooooo lustig, erst versucht ellen krampfhaft spanisch zu reden, (was ich super süss fand wie ihre stimme immer höher wurde 
